The _____ _____ in Montréal

Every year, the Montréal Mirror offers up a fairly biased suggestion of what is the Best of Montréal. Best bar, best poutine, best strip club etc etc etc. This has left a lingering thought in my mind, and I am now prepared to share with you a draft of some of my personal recommendations. I prefer to steer clear of such narrow terms as 'best' and 'worst'... since there are so many better adjectives.

Your comments are expected.

Most aromatically unpleasant bus route: 44 south Trust me on this one, especially in the late afternoon, this is the stinkiest bus I've ever set foot on.

Most frustratingly unavailable alcohol: Pimms Now that it's summer time, I'd just love to sit out on the balcony with friends and a big jug of the beautiful elixir. But the selfish folk at the SAQ would rather sell industrial strength ready mixed sangria.

Métro station most likely to be doubling up as a subterranean lair for an evil supervillain: Radisson Just imagine Giles Duceppe in a grey one piece suit with a white pussy cat, and you'll get my drift.

Quickest cure for a bad hangover: Breakfast special # 2 at the Binerie Head to 367 ave. du Mont Royal Est (just west of St. Denis) and give the man your money. He'll make the pain go away.

Franchise I'd most like to invest in: Frites Alors Rumour has it you can get the rights to open your own branch of Montréal's best burger chain with a $55,000 downpayment. I'm working on it...

Part of town I never want to go out in again: Crescent, Peel etc The music is aggressive, the drinks are extortionate and the clientelle are drunken American tourists who'd be underage if they were at home. I'm not doing it, even for Brutopia.

Stupidest public transit system: AMT suburban train to Delson I don't even know why I'd want to go to Delson, but now that I know that the AMT only operates four trains a day in each direction (four into Montréal in the morning, four out in the evening) I really want to...